Tearful Hockey Legend Cries at Press Conference Announcing His Status

By Ted Kupfan on 10/7/2010

Shack crying like Crosby

Detroit – Eddie Shack shocked fans and reporters today when he announced that a knee injury sustained in a freak fall in Game One of the Friday Night Hockey Club’s 2010-2011 season has caused him to reassess his ability to rejoin the FHNC.

"The knee is worse than I thought and I’m older than I thought," said an emotional Shack as he began a press conference announcing his retirement at Lincoln Park Memorial Arena in front of a local blogger and the guy who runs the Zamboni.

"The doctors said I need to be off the ice for 4-6 weeks and from my first two weeks back it’s obvious that the FHNC gang deserves a more skilled player than I can be at 50,’" he said.

"Hockey is a young man’s game."

Shack said his decision was made after consulting a dozen of his closest beers and that while he felt he could still skate with the younger FHNC players his skill level would not return to a competitive level.

"I don’t want to be that guy who skates around waiting for a pass and then falling on my ass when the puck arrives any longer," he said. "That’s funny the first few cracks on the ice the head gets a bit mushy and sore. So if you guessed two weeks in last week’s FHNC website poll, I guess you’re a winner."

Shack confirmed that, although he was brash and outspoken over the summer about his return he did have doubts about his game. He said his love of hockey and desire to maintain the camaraderie of players and teammates inspired his return.

"In the end, I have to do what’s right for my health and my family," Shack said.

Since the press conference was attended by only two onlookers, the only question came from the Zamboni driver who asked if he could have Shack’s recently purchased sticks.