Eddie Shack Back on Track?

By Iron Orr on 5/3/2010

Lincoln Park, MI - In a surprising FNHC development, Eddie Shack, the FNHC player formerly known as SpongeBob, has submitted an open letter to FNHC League Offices requesting reinstatement in the league for the upcoming 2010-2011 season. The official receipt of the letter was delayed because after a 5 year hiatus, no one at league offices realized the stature of the person requesting reinstatement into the league.

"Eddie Shack wants to come back, eh," said Slava, "he's getting to be like an old habit you just can't shake. I'll have to think long and hard before I vote on his reinstatement request. He was one of those guys who shows up, scores a few goals and acts like he's God's Gift to Hockey, then disappears. We've seen hundreds of them over the years. We're looking for guys who are committed to the league, who want to be there week in and week out, through bad weather, pain, or any other reason. We want guys who love the game of hockey in the FNHC. We can't have guys like Shack going off the tracks all the time."

Slava's comments allude to a proposal at League Offices to put Shack's reinstatement up to a vote. "We are considering the proposal presented at the Council of Six's quarterly meeting in mid-May," noted the FNHC Commish. "The FNHC has traditionally been structured as a Monarchy, but in recent years we've found that a more democratic approach brings sound decisions for the league, so we're likely to put it up for a vote."

In a rare show of humility, Eddie Shack was gracious and appreciative of the League's willingness to consider his reinstatement despite a less-than-stellar attendance record and relatively low contribution to the league in the year and a half he did play. "I'm just grateful and humbled that the Commish is talking about putting it up for a vote," Shack stated in a press release through his agent. "The Commish runs the League with an Iron Fist, but it shows he is growing wiser with age. I've worked hard to get back in shape to play. I've lost 60lbs and I'm faster than ever with 100% more endurance than I had back in the 2004 when I last laced 'em up. I'm ready to come back and committed to playing until I surpass Pops' record of being the oldest FNHC player at age 80."